“I’m Pumped!”

Thursday, July 22nd was a day I had both been anticipating and dreading all summer.  This was the day our youngest daughter, Maddie, who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes on December 7th, of last year, was to go on the pump.  We’ve actually had the pump in our possession for over a month in order to learn about it and “use it” with saline instead of insulin as much as possible before it being hooked up to her body.  Last Thursday was “hook up” day.  We had it on the calendar as Pump Day.  Maddie couldn’t wait!  To her, it meant the end of shots, the end of Lantus (the more “stingy” of the two kinds of insulin she received), more freedom, more independence, and a cool gadget to wear, just like her 5th grade friend who also has Type 1 Diabetes.  “I’m pumped about the pump, mom!” she would say.

I too had some excitement about fewer shots to give (we made it clear to her that there would be times when she would need to have a shot even though she was going on the pump).  I too had some excitement about more freedom for her to eat at odd times and to have some special sweets, like birthday cake at a party.  I too, in theory, was glad for her to have more control in her diabetes regimen, though we really drilled into her the importance of mom and dad double checking her carb counting and BG levels.  I was NOT, however, glad about the idea of her being hooked up to something 24/7.  Somehow the thought of my little girl always having tubing coming out of her mid-section, with a small computer device clipped onto her shorts or worn in a pouch, did not seem very “free”.  My emotions bounced around from grief to gladness, from resistance to acceptance, from fear to a knowledge that this is really the best way to manage her diabetes.  I also know that she, as a child, has a TON more resilience and openness to her new life, than I do.  And I did NOT want to infect her with my resistant attitude.

Aside from her almost passing out when the first inset went in at our Diabetic Educator’s office, everything has seemed to go fairly well, considering.  SHE is doing great! My husband and I are exhausted from being up round the clock at night to check her blood sugars, trying to remember how to “correct” a blood sugar, how to bolus, what this particular alarm means, how to load the cartridge, prime the tubing, the cannula, etc.  On Sunday we successfully inserted inset #2 (it’s an hour and 1/2 long process!!) and things went much better than the first time…I’m hopeful that each time we do this (every three days), it will get better and better.  I hope.

On Sunday, in church, Maddie drew this picture and one other she asked I not post.  I tried not to show her my teary eyes when I saw them.  It is just an expression of what’s on her mind these days.  She loves her lime green pump.  Yet she doesn’t love calouses on each of her fingers (her other drawing).  But she charges on, each day, taking hold of her new life with diabetes, seemingly fearlessly.  Her dad and I are SO proud of her.  She is brave, responsible, joyful, and beautiful.  Her 13 year old brother told her today that he would not be so brave as she, if he had diabetes.  I think she really took this to heart…it’s different when someone other than your mom and dad are telling you these things.

If SHE is pumped about the pump…I am gonna be also!!

P.S. To identify for you the objects in her drawing:  #1 is the lancet, used to prick her finger for blood sugar testing; #2 (on left) is the bottle of test strips with the code number on it; #2 (on right) is a test strip; #3 is her blood sugar meter with the strip in the bottom and it is registering 158 (a bit on the high side, but we don’t panic with that number:).

Aslan’s Girl: Portrait #11

There are times when friends endure such suffering, that the only thing I feel I can do, is draw…draw something for them to ultimately receive, but also something for me to process my own grief and compassion.  I don’t really know how to tell you the full story of this not-even-two-year-old girl, named Kate, who sometime in May, came down with a regular ole ear infection which led to something far worse within a few short weeks.  The good folks at Brenner’s Children’s Hospital tried many many things to pin point what was going wrong, as this little dear continued to worsen, her body showing the ravages of whatever disease had hold of her.  Eventually they were able to diagnose it as a rare form of a very rare disease.  I will not go into all that she has endured.  Suffice it to say, her sweet little body was taken to places none of us would ever want, wish, or entertain for even our worst enemies.  Unimaginable.

Unbelievable…she has just recently come home from her summer in the hospital.  She still needs a lot of care, but is on the improvement end of the continuum.  These friends of mine have walked and are walking a path of suffering that few of us have endured and which breaks my heart to see.  I want to make it all better, and I cannot.  I want to help, but most times those efforts seem to fall flat.  The ONE THING I can do, is uphold this family in prayer and plead for mercy on their behalf.

C.S. Lewis, the author of the beloved Narnia Chronicles, wrote stories surrounding the relationship between children and a great lion, named Aslan, a Christ-like character.  These books have been favorites of this family for many years.  Throughout the summer, I kept thinking of this precious girl in the arms of the great Lion Aslan.   There is a point in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe where Lucy asks the beavers what  Aslan is like.  She asks, “Is he safe?”  To which the beavers reply, ” ‘Course he isn’t safe, but he is good. He’s the king, I tell you.”  That phrase is both theologically rich AND confounding.  Only a family who is clinging to their Heavenly Father as they watch their little girl grow more and more sick, have any inkling what this phrase might mean.  No, he is not safe….but HE IS GOOD!

These parents do not only affirm this to be true now that their little girl is home from the hospital and is improving.  They affirmed this to be true even in the midst of huge unknowns as to what was ravaging their daughter’s health and whether or not there was any help for it.  Their affirmation was not made with a plastic smile on their faces…but rather with tears, questions, uncertainties, yet with an underlying assurance that He who brought them to that place of suffering was indeed WITH THEM and was GOOD. Not THEIR definition of good…but they were willing to humble themselves to Aslan’s idea of good, no matter what that might mean.

From an artistic standpoint, my aim was to make a portrait of Kate with Aslan in such a way that the two were one.  I like how their fur/hair (which she doesn’t have right now, but will one day!) emulate each other and blend together.  I like how the relaxed lion’s claws are still seen, but neither put away nor flexed (a hint at the whole idea of him not being safe).  I wanted her expression to be one of utter joy and comfort in his arms.  I wanted the lion’s eyes to be both strong yet compassionate.

She is indeed Aslan’s Girl…He will never leave her nor forsake her.  He is healing her and restoring joy to this family in doing so.  In this I rejoice.

Ukulele Girls!

Me (on the left) and my oldest daughter enjoying our ukeleles…I treasure the time with her!

And here we are being silly, kissing our ukuleles…

…we love them so!

Thunk-a-Thunk

It seems this is the summer of ukulele playing and sewing machine whirring.  Though to be more precise, lately my machine sounds more like THUNK-A-THUNK than a nice “whir”.  This is the second bag for a ukulele I’ve made this summer.  The first one, here, for my own concert size uke; and the one above, for my oldest daughter’s soprano size uke.  I thought the bag I made for myself was hard! This one topped it by far in difficulty level!  Of course, I wanted to make it the way my daughter wanted, and she went with the traditional gig bag style, but with fabrics she chose (very much “her” with the island print and orange lining-her favorite color:).   The thicknesses of the fabrics, 1/2″ foam, zipper, etc. were such that even my left shoulder began to ache, (THROB!) as I wrestled the layers of stuff to stay together as I sewed.  She wanted backpack style straps to wear like this:

In the end, it all worked out very well, I must say, despite needing to take some pain reliever part way through the project!  She loves it (so do I!) and I’m content that we made something together AND that I will never make another of these foam-type bags!  My sweet Maddie, who now has a ukulele of her own, is wanting a uke bag also, but I’ll be making one that does not have foam, just quilted fabric, which will be just fine for her little toy uke.

I think my machine will be glad NOT to be making such thunk-a-thunk noises and maybe it will “whir” once again!

Groovy Doll

My summer easel is turning out to be my sewing machine!  Though I’m still drawing and painting (and there’s even a large charcoal in process ON the easel) I’ve been spending a good bit of time sitting in front of my 1965 White sewing machine given to me by my mother-in-law when I got married twenty-two years ago.  She apparently bought it new to try learning to sew but packed it away in frustration after only a few tries.  It has been a honey-of-a-machine for me all these years and it’s getting quite a work-out this summer.

Maddie and I have loved Groovy Dolls for a long time.  I came home one day a few weeks ago with her in the middle of my studio/sunroom floor surveying fabrics, buttons, and yarn.  “I have a great idea, mom!” she says…and I know this actually means: “I have a great idea for YOU to make for me, mom!”  Humph!

Well, I do love making dolls and always have.  I spent my entire childhood, I think, making dolls, doll clothes, doll accessories with a dear girl friend of mine: she and I burning up our machines at whoever’s house we found ourselves.  We did play with our handmade dolls, but only long enough to have other ideas and dreams set us off on a search for just the right stuff to create our idea.  I have two boxes of dolls and dolls stuff up in our attic from those years, 5th grade up through high school even.

So Maddie and I set out to make a simple little doll to be a friend to her Groovy doll.  Maddie chose everything:  the blue hair, the striped leggins, the floral sundress, ribbons, pigtails, everything.  I just followed orders (of course, giving my suggestions on things that could be made more easily than what she was asking for:).  Maddie named her Aquamarine…a fitting name for this blue-haired, fair beauty.  Maddie says she is the perfect complement to her red-haired Groovy doll and so they are best friends!

I LOVE the world of an eight year old!

P.S.  Maddie took this photo…I think she’s quite a good little photographer as well as doll designer!

Summertime Medley

In the past, I’ve drawn Maddie’s collection of stuffed animals at the foot of her bed.  Here are previous collections.  Her choices are typically based on the season and what she is playing with currently.  Here’s this summer’s assemblage: (left to right: JDRF “Rufus”bear, American Girl doll named “Angelica”, blue bunny, funny face noisy critters, Madeline doll with “cow mask” resting on top of her hat, monkey webkins, ‘nother JDRF bear with a pink doggy squished in behind him, green fish, fluffy bunny and brown bunny with puppy in between, and “Snippy” the sea turtle, on the top (her absolute favorite who gets to sleep curled in her arms each night).

I’m enjoying the multi-color line work these days.  And to get colors close to what they actually are, I sat on her bed with my small watercolor palette and a waterbrush.  This worked perfectly to keep from having to balance a jar of water and keep it from spilling.  There are just a few dashes of watercolor crayons and a splash or two as well.

Cheer Girl

This is the first half of a commission I’ve been working on for some time now.  A couple has graciously commissioned me to paint portraits of all three of their daughters, and this is their third daughter.  For each daughter, they want a charcoal piece of their girl in action, and then a color portrait of more of the face.  I have yet to create the color version for this third daughter.  My hope is to be able to work on it this summer, but things are quite busy, as summers are with three children, work, etc.  The mom has already picked this one up and I hope they are enjoying it as much as I enjoyed drawing it!

Mor Cow

Just had to play with these wonderful photos I have of Mr. Photogenic Cow.  I’m not including these in the 100 portraits group…just havin’ a bit o’ fun.  Well, I do have fun with the other too, but these don’t fit my criteria for the 100 portraits journey I’ve set myself on.  The criteria for the 100 portraits is thus: watercolor, with no lines.  Certainly, I draw in pencil first and then watercolor, but the pencil lines don’t play a part in the final product.  Here, line is major, with a smidge of watercolor and then scribbles with watercolor crayons.

He turned out a bit wonky here, but I think that adds to the overall look and is in keeping with the fun, fanciful lines.  I have an itch to try collage with him…hmmm…maybe….:)

Uke Crazy!

We are all a bit tipsy over our ukuleles! My oldest daughter and I got our ukes just before going to the beach a few weeks ago.  Ever since, we seem to be attached at the waist to them.  Well, especially her!  We remind her to clean her room, brush her teeth, get ready to go to work, etc…and she nods her head with a glazed look on her face as she figures out the latest tune she’s working on.  She’s such a natural with it!  So free to explore, to try anything, to skip any kind of “steps” to learning to play, free to play her ukulele A LOT!  I, on the other hand, have too much adult in me: thinking I need to follow some sort of “steps” to learning, tied to the chords on a piece of music, less apt to freestyle, tending to make it a “discipline” rather than a “hobby”, and less time to sit down and actually play.

But it is SO COOL to be inspired by her!  I’m reminded that I don’t have to wait until I can play scales or basic chords before I tackle fingerpicking or note bending, or crazy strumming, etc.  JUST PLAY, JEN!

And now, my 8 year old wants one!  I tried to get her a cheapy uke today at our local music store, but they are all out.  I’m gonna keep looking…two inspiring uke players in our home will be heavenly!

Safe & Snug

My sewing machine has been whirring lately.  I got it in my head that I wanted to MAKE my own gig bag for my birthday ukulele.  I couldn’t find one I liked in any of the worldwide web shopping stores, so I decided to make one to my own liking:  pretty fabric, 1/2″ foam, easy to get uke in and out of, over the shoulder strap, and a pocket for tuner, sheet music, whatever!

My initial thoughts in embarking on this project, were that I had no idea whether the idea in my head would actually translate into reality.  Cutting foam and fabric to dimensions you aren’t entirely sure of (ie. you’ve laid your uke on the foam to cut the size and then guesstimated at how the quilted fabric will wrap around the foam thereby needing more fabric than foam, but not sure just how much more…) and then beginning to sew and assemble huge thicknesses (since I wanted this bag to be protective as well as pretty) and then having to hand sew some sections because the machine just won’t go in that direction OR through that thickness…   Well, you get the picture: a bit sketchy going there for a while.  About midway through, it seemed like it might work, and I actually thought Oh goody, I could make one for all the uke playing members of  my family!  Umm, well.  By the end of this “little” project, my fingers were sore and bleeding from all the hand sewing and finger pricks.  My hands need to heal before I tackle making another; if I ever do!

There were a gazillion decisions to  make in the process:  Do I make the pocket flat or bumped out a bit?  How do I decorate the pocket? Do I put the seam binding on the strap? or not? Do I make double straps? How do I secure the bag closed at the top? A flap that velcros or buttons?  A drawstring? A zipper?  In the end, I was completely satisfied with the one strap, the string & button closure, the flat pocket with the crochet flower decoration.  It all worked out beautifully and now I’m ready to take off for a trip to Boone to visit my family and play our ukes together.  My dad, my brother, my mom, my oldest daughter and I are all crazy about our ukuleles.  Now my uke will be safe and snug for the trip!  See you all when I get back!