Unique Perspective

I just gasped to see the date on this sketch. Gheesh! I am amazed at how long I’ve been battling this disease. And so glad it is now cured. Symptoms began just before Christmas, though they were mild then. As the disease progressed and symptoms worsened, I tried to get an appointment to see my gastroenterologist whom I had seen a few years ago for proctitis. But I was told the earliest I could have an appointment was April 15th. What? I called a few weeks later to tell them I was getting worse and really needed to see him, but was told the only thing they could do was to put me on a waiting list. I was never called.

Not only is your body battling a disease, but your mind and heart are also doing battle. You want to keep your head above water, stay positive, try to see the benefits you may be experiencing, or the beauties that are underfoot. This is crucial to enduring any kind of health issue. Some days are more difficult than others, and that is where I find such comfort in having friends who pray for me. I was able to make it through the most discouraging days because people were praying, sending healing thoughts, and just encouraging me in general.

Eventually, I was desperate, and took myself to PrimeCare and begged them to get me in with a gastro doctor anywhere, but ASAP! That was a Friday, I got an appointment for the following Monday, was in for a colonoscopy on Wednesday and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in over half of my colon. I went home thinking “I’m going to get better now!” having medicines in hand that were supposed to put the disease in remission.  The medicines seemed to help for a few days, but then I began to get worse. And thus started a pattern that would continue for a couple of weeks: trying new meds, I improve a bit, and then worsen. We had talked with my doctor about hospitalization. And soon it became apparent that this was the next step.

We are only given the little patch of the path directly in front of us. And that’s the little patch we have to take in and deal with, trying not to worry about what’s on down the path! This is very difficult for me! I am a worry wart! I realized the only way to go through this journey was to concentrate on TODAY, this patch of the path, this moment, this bit of information we have and just BE there.

I am still learning this as I recuperate. One day at a time, one moment at a time, one baby step at a time. This is the perspective I need. This is the perspective to healing.

Sustainable Art

Last weekend, when Maddie was sick, it made me remember a wonderful morning just a couple of days before with two visiting artist friends from Reidsville. After combing the creations in Eclection, Vintage Jane, and Renew, we sat talking away at Amalfi’s about how to be artists in and around our lives as mothers. It’s a subject near and dear to my heart, as I have tried to work this thing out for nearly 16 years now…pursuing art and all that it encompasses from learning to creating, to exhibiting. Motherhood is perhaps one of the most interruptive jobs one could have. No two days are alike. Just when you get them into the school years, so many other things arise, visits to the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, sports. And of course, sick days halt whatever artistic goal or path you had hoped to pursue that day.

Suffice it to say that I’ve been, for many years, on a quest to find a sustainable art, though I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it that way. A couple of summers ago, on our trip to Michigan, we met up with old friends there. The wife’s job was to work with companies to make what they do more “sustainable”. As I listened to her describe what this meant, I gathered that her job was to help companies do what they want to do in a more humane and gentle way both for their employees as well as for their clients and to the environment. Over the long haul, these new or improved ways of doing things would allow for resources to not be used up, for employee satisfaction and less burn-out, and clients who feel served over a long period of time.  Something about what she was saying made me think that this was what I had been trying to figure out in my artistic life. At the time, I felt I was actually finding the answer.

When I began to paint and draw in earnest at the age of 32, I did so in and around the busy life of a mom of little ones. I grabbed whatever time I could when my children were napping or asleep at night to paint and draw things that would hopefully be purchased in an art show or gallery. Several years into this, it began to feel very difficult to keep up this pace. I was schlepping paintings hither and yon to broaden the exposure of my artwork, while soccer games, gymnastics, church activities, etc. vied for the same slots as the openings for these shows. It was getting increasingly harder to justify the expense of framing all the works on paper (my preferred medium), to buy the tubes of paint, etc. It was also getting harder to find space in our small house to store these paintings if and when they didn’t sell in the exhibit or gallery. It felt incredibly hard to work as an artist of this kind, trying to keep it up. I got to a point where if I only had 30 minutes to paint, well that just wasn’t enough time to really do anything so I just didn’t do any “art” that day. Several of these days strung together and became a year, then two, where I didn’t do any drawing or painting.

Fast forward to this post here, when I discovered Peter Reynolds book, Ish and Danny Gregory’s book, The Creative License. I began to work (play) in a sketchbook, getting down all the “paintings” in my head, using any and every medium I enjoyed, in any and every method I wanted to. Total freedom. Easy on the pocketbook. Much easier to store. Portable. Do-able in and around a busy, chopped up, life of a mom.

What has been most lovely for me is to find working in a sketchbook to be a sustainable art that I can participate in no matter the circumstances of my life. Though I can still draw and paint for an art show when I want to, I am no longer limited to that. I can draw and paint anytime, anywhere: when my kids are sick, or at the orthodontist, or at a college orientation day, or on trips, or at the hospital, or ANYWHERE!

This may not be important to some artists, finding a sustainable art, but it has been to me. And one must find the artistic expression that is authentic to them!  This is also why I love knitting and crocheting…a portable art form that can be sustained in and around a busy life as wife, mother, and teacher.

**Note: The above sketch was made along with My Balloon Tree post. Again, one of those times where the meaning of it is unclear while making it. I see it now with me standing outside my home, Balloon Tree in the backyard with an endless stream of lovely balloons of creativity flowing from it.

Dropping Down

 

This moment, right here,

is where i need to be.

Drinking in the lines & curves of the NOW life

which is SO unassuming,

SO simple,

perhaps not even note-worthy.

And yet…in drawing,

i find worth and value

in just BEING.

BEING still,

being focused on here

and not on there.

This dropping-down

of the straw-pen

into the milkshake of my life

is like placing the needle

of the record-player

onto the vinyl disc:

i begin to hear the music…

softly at first…

then stronger as the needle traces the lines

round and round my life

AS IT IS

right now,

in THIS moment.

-jpe

from my daily writing journal. 11.11.2012

A Line for Maddie

Friends of ours who went to live overseas, said to those of us sending them off, that we were the ones holding the line on the other end for them.  I loved that thought! And, as an artist, the idea that I hold one end of the drawn line as they “draw” the lines of their journey, fascinates, inspires, and touches me deeply.

This is what I envisioned this past Saturday, as we Walked for a Cure for Type 1 Diabetes with our daughter Maddie.  ALL of these people, the long ribbon of folks ahead of and behind us, hold the line for her and for every Type 1 child and adult who lives with this disease. We were ALL connected that day.  All of us joined together by one single line… a HOPE for a cure for juvenile diabetes.

I thought how, for me, this line begins with my daughter and connects to me, my husband (the one carrying the young girls’ jackets:), Maddie’s cousin Zoe, our friend Anna, and all of you!  You who have sent donations (over $500!) and well-wishes and cheers of support for our girl.

Thank you for holding the line for my Maddie! Randy and I are deeply grateful to all of you! Merci.

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Le Cycliste and Le Tour de Pig

Sharpie & Sketchbook went with me to Lexington, NC this past Saturday to cheer on my husband as he came in to the finish line of the Tour de Pig bike ride.  The rest of us sat in our chairs ringing cow bells, hootin’ and hollerin’ as cyclists came in.  Many of them love being celebrated after the grueling 30, 50 or 64 miles they’ve just ridden.  Randy made his best time ever for a metric century! We then ate delicious barbecue together as this was a Festival for Lexington’s famous and favorite food: barbecue!

Trying to draw moving cyclists is not easy.  I quickly sketched in the areas that weren’t moving and then added in cyclists from memory of them as they went whirring by.

I see now that I need to go back into my sketch to put the date 10/13/2012.  I’ve been so busy lately I didn’t know right at the moment what the day’s date was.

If it weren’t for these sketches to pin me to the ground, October might have been over before it even started. TGFS! (Thank God for Sketchbooks!)

Botanical Gardens Panorama!

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A little accordian book of drawings made panorama style of the Ciener Botanical Gardens here in my little town of Kernersville, NC.

I hope you enjoy!

Following My Life

A dreadful photo of this! Early morning photography is next to impossible around my house.

For more on following your Life in contours…check out this post!

So many times, I wish I was like Harold, dragging my purple crayon around behind me, drawing every step of the way! I’m off in lots of directions this weekend: Ciener Botanical Gardens, Dixie Classic Fair, Wingate University, Lincolnton NC.  Purple crayon and sketchbook going with me for sure!

Multi-Colored Pens!

I recently went through a phase. Ha! One of many I tend to move in and out of.  It keeps things fresh.  It keeps me on my toes.  Different ways to view and then capture a place or a person.

All of my Flexi-Sketch drawings are done with multi-colored pens and Neocolor II crayons added in.  I used both of these in the first drawing,  as I sat downtown Kernersville at the Factory.  You get a whole different feel when you switch up your mediums.  The above portrait drawing was done at Barnhill’s Bookstore where I sometimes draw with other artists who love drawing people.

My teens are fond of a phrase I will use here:  Pens, watercolor, crayons, pastels, whatever…”It’s All Good!”

Portrait #16: The Gentleman Farmer

To attempt to paint a portrait of Mr. Leo Whicker, born September 3, 1927, is like trying to harness (with paint and paper) the wisdom of years and experience, coupled with an effortless joy that is surely hard-won through life’s ups and downs.  I have had the privilege of getting to know Mr. Whicker through numerous conversations with him over the past 8 years.  I think I could write a book about him.  Here are a few things I have learned:

The land on which he lives and farms (and which is directly next door to my house and neighborhood), was his grandfather’s land.  At some point, his grandfather sold the land to send a son to law school.  And then, at some point after that, Mr. Whicker (pictured above) bought the land back.  This land encompasses acres and acres and is sprawled in many directions throughout the southern part of Kernersville, in an area known as Sedge Garden.

Mr. Whicker and his wife Martha, had a son and daughter.  Up the hill from where I live, is a small house (now a rental home) where he and his family started out.  As the children grew, he built a larger home for them just yards away, perched on a small rise in the land.  You can see the house here in the charcoal, just a bit of the porch, complete with rocking chairs.

Mr. Whicker’s wife Martha died young, of cancer.  When he speaks of her, you can hear a love and affection for her that leaves you aching and thinking he must still ache and miss his dear wife. Both his son and daughter live in Kernersville and have families of their own. Mr. Whicker is blessed with grandchildren and extended family who live in the area.

In fact, as I’ve been able to gather from Mrs. Gail Smith Love, another neighbor whom I’ve had the privilege of getting to know, Mr. Whicker is considered an Uncle to many from the Smith clan.  She recounts that growing up with Smith land and farms right next to Whicker land, the two families’ children all called the other dads “Uncle”.  So he was Uncle Leo to her and many others.

Mr. Whicker has memories of his grandmother telling him that soldiers used to hide out in caves on their land during the Civil War.  I have a feeling if I could sit for a while with him, I’d hear many stories of historical interest that are tucked away in Mr. Whicker’s vibrant mind.

Mr. Whicker has many barns beside his home.  The barn you see here, and in the above charcoal, can be seen from the road, Silver Dapple Lane. It stores his baled hay on one side, and keeps farm equipment on the other.  You can see a glimpse into the back side of this particular barn in the above portrait of him.  Sitting atop the tractors and equipment are various, huge stuffed animals, such as Kermit the Frog (seen above) and Scooby Doo.  These are here, says Mr. Whicker, to chase away the birds.  Apparently, birds have a bad habit of nesting in the tractor’s engines.  And when he goes to start one of these tractors, the poor birds are lost, and they can cause damage to the equipment.  I wish you could’ve seen the twinkle in his eye as he explained why he had these unexpected furry friends in the barn!

That twinkle in his eye is rooted in his faith.  Leo Whicker is a faithful congregant at Sedge Garden Chapel, just a stone’s throw from his home and farm.  He is, and I suspect has been for most of his life, devoted to worshipping his Creator with the folks in this small and humble church.  Hardly a conversation goes by without him asking me to pray for something on his mind, after inquiring how my husband and children are doing.

There is so much more I could write here.  The description in this post is merely the tip of the iceberg.  Talking with Mr. Whicker (as with other persons of mature years), makes me think I’m in the presence of a stately oak tree.  That tree has seen many years, all kinds of weather, lots of history.  It has withstood storms, change, seasons, “progress”.  It has been rooted in something far more enduring than this world, and its roots are deep and far-reaching.  At first you may only see a trunk and its weathered bark.  But as you get to know the tree, the expanse of the branches and canopy, the gnarled sections leading out to youthful buds and leaves, you realize there is something grand going on here which is very difficult to describe, much less to paint.

Mr. Whicker would never think of himself in this grand manner.  He was indeed a bit reticent about having his picture taken so that I could create a portrait (or two) of him. I just feel that his story needs to be remembered, and that his family would enjoy a painted portrait.

He is indeed, a gentleman farmer.

Gone Flickr-ing!

Well. I don’t know if I’m crazy. But it sure does SEEM crazy that when the goin’ gets tough, the drawings pile up! And with the drawings piling up, and my blog time diminishing, I thought I’d go Flickr for a while!

You see, I got this cool little sketchbook, 6″ x 6″, recently on a trip to my favorite art supply store in Boone: Cheap Joe’s Art Stuff.  Last week as I was facing teacher workdays and the crazy busy start of a new school year for myself, our college-bound daughter, and our other two kids(one high school, one elementary), I thought it would be fun to begin working in this little book for several reasons:

*One, to have a small space in which to work.  Not too big.  Not too little.  For little sketches.

*Two, to limit the type of medium I use in it.  My usual MO is to flit around with every kind of medium, from pens to watercolors, to oil pastels, to crayons, to collage, etc.  With this one, I wanted to fill it with just ONE combination: colored pens & Neocolor II Crayons (the watercolor ones).

*Three, to set myself the challenge of filling this little book, all 240 pages with the above mentioned medium choice.

*Four, to allow myself the few minutes, here and there, to make a little drawing for my own sanity.  To either sketch the lines on the spot, “from life”, OR to go through our awesome photos my husband and I have pooled together on my ipad, and draw from them.

*Five, to NOT blog about them…but just Flickr them! I don’t know how much time I’ll have to write blog posts in the coming weeks, but I thought I could upload the little drawrings to Flickr for you to enjoy if you want to. I WILL NOT be tweeting about them OR posting on Facebook, after this, so…

*…IF you’d like to have a notice sent to you that I’ve uploaded new drawings to Flickr, you can subscribe to my Flickr account.  I already have 14 drawings there, listed in the Flexi-Sketch category.

Go ahead and visit by clicking these blue words!! Then click on the category on the right, titled Flexi-Sketch.

Meanwhile, I’ll be off drawing in the margins of my crazy life! If you see a lady with untamed hair and a little orange sketchbook in her hands, you’ll know it’s me!

See you around the Flickr-ing Pool!