Knitterly Notes

 

Have I ever told you I love to knit?  

And so I have…here and here and here. The only thing better than knitting, is to draw or paint what I’m knitting or crocheting. I loved making this little painting of my hands knitting a scarf. Mind you, this lace scarf was begun several years ago…but I have finished it! And I’ll give you a proper reveal soon!

So here’s the photograph I worked from to create the above painting. I thought you might like to see the reference photo and how it gets translated into line and watercolor. I also thought you might like to see some of the projects I’ve been happily working on of late.

 

I knitted this little cupcake hat for my niece’s one year birthday back at the beginning of March, the early days of my U.C. diagnosis. That’s my beautiful sister with her fifth child, Brynley.

Then I finished this pair of socks, which I wore and wore through the chilly days. For some reason, I kept messing up on grafting the toe together. I’ve done the kitchener stitch successfully many times before, but a brain glitch prevented me from getting it right on both of these socks. Of course, I made it work somehow so the socks hold together without being uncomfortable.

So, on THIS sock, finished just recently, I was delighted to work the Kitchener stitch correctly! Yay! Maybe my recent surgery re-worked my brain as well!

And I love the colors in this yarn!!!!!

This is a random photo of the basket of yarns I used for my Resurrection Shawl. 

And this is the beginning of another multi-yarned confection, all in creams and whites! I have quite a vision of this shawl in its finished state…we’ll see how it all turns out.:)

And a photo of me knitting on our front stoop. This was taken prior to being in the hospital, hoping and praying that the medications I was on would put the U.C. into remission. There’s something about this photo I like… 1. I love knitting outdoors, even if it means wearing a coat and knitted hand mitts. 2. Knitting became synonymous with “hope” during my recent illness. Knitting and Hope…I like that.

Well, that’s enough for now…I’ll share more “knitterly notes” with you soon. I’ll be stocking the Shoppe with some new items soon…more on that coming up!

**Thank you so much for visiting me here on Drawn2Life!! I can’t thank you enough for sharing in these creative ventures with me!

***And…if you ever wanted to take up knitting, try my little photo tutorial HERE. I haven’t yet transferred it over from Drawn2Knit. It will happen someday. For now, check there for free patterns and tutorials.

****ANNDDD….if you’d like to try your hand at drawing/sketching OR need a little boost or encouragement to get back into it…check out my Drawing Your Life Mini Lessons. These were offered last year and still receive a lot of traffic.  I hope it’s helpful to you all!

Dare

I’ve been using the photos I took from a recent trip to the Ciener Botanical Gardens, to create some little drawings/paintings. The crazy thing about tulips is the vast variety of them! Round and bowl-like, spiky and sharp, lots o’ petals, few petals, etc. This one caught my eye with it’s pointed petals and lovely color pattern…standing out amongst the crowd.

I’ve always felt like the phrase, “Dare to Be Different”, meant that I needed to go and change who I am, do things I wouldn’t normally do, etc. But this tulip made me think that the ultimate in “being different” is to simply be who you were made to be. Sometimes we expend so much energy trying to be what we are not! Certainly it’s good to try new things, to go on adventures, to be daring! But our “differentness” is actually found in being who we were made to be…whether that’s round and bowl-like, spiky and sharp, lots o’ petals or few……;)

May your day be one in which you “Dare to be Yourself!”

**Brian Rutenberg’s most recent Studio Visit 29 speaks to this in the later section of the video. Pretty cool stuff…you’ll enjoy! (Click on the highlighted words:)

**AND…if you’re interested, here are some other posts of mine on Brian Rutenberg and his Studio Visits….here, here, and here!

Face Like a Flint

 

Thank you, thank you one and all for your unbelievably kind, sweet, and encouraging words in the last post! I am indeed surrounded by so many who are supporting me in my recovery. There is much more I could tell you about the last couple of months. So many amazing ways I have been carried and bound up in a wonderful lenten journey. Perhaps someday I will write it all out. But for now, I’m wanting to turn the corner. To round the bend as it were and set my face like a flint to what is ahead. (Isaiah 50:7)

This proves to be very difficult some days. Every few days I am hit with an emotional state which I can only describe as grieving. Perhaps it’s grieving all that has happened to my body. Maybe grieving the life I used to have before surgery and an ileostomy. I don’t really know it’s source, other than medical people telling me it is due to all the medications and trauma I’ve had. Whatever it is, I endure these days only by simply riding them out. BE-ing where I am.

Nonetheless, I want to move forward. Even if it is only baby steps, I still want to look for and rejoice in the small improvements I’m experiencing along the way. One of the days soon after I got home from the hospital, my husband took me to our Ciener Botanical Gardens. The tulips were in full force!! Their upturned faces to the sun made me think of that verse in Isaiah which speaks to setting our faces like a flint, unashamed, unmoved by circumstances, to face what is ahead, whatever that might be. I took a bunch of photos that day.

And just a few days ago, I felt well enough to stand for a length of time at my drawing table and create this page. There will be more to come. It felt so good to be drawing and painting again. I look forward to being well enough to draw with my friends on Fridays downtown Kernersville. I look forward to being able to drive again and cart my kids to the places they go. I look forward to a lot, and I need patience to wait for them.

Thank you again for your faithful visits here and for comments you make! I read every one of them and they make my heart leap! I hope each of you can find some time to create something. I know it brings healing.

Shout from the Rooftops!

As different medications were given to me to try and put the Ulcerative Colitis into remission, I did experience some improvement. And when I did, I wanted to shout it to the world! When you’ve been so miserable, ANY appearance of possible improvement is so exciting!!

But it was very short lived. Only a day or two actually, before my symptoms would go back to what they were, or worse. This pattern continued even in the hospital, as high doses of IV steroids were administered and then a round of Remikade. We all really hoped the Remikade would do the trick. But my colon kept on swelling as the Colitis took over my entire colon. My doctor said the pathology of my disease was rare, in that it was so aggressive and fast growing. Many people who suffer from Ulcerative Colitis are able to manage it with medications and live somewhat “normal” lives, some even without it recurring for years and years. Others endure years of trying different medications, in and out of the hospital to put the disease back into remission.

In many ways, I am very grateful that I will not have to endure years of battling this. To have this disease get to the point, very quickly, where it was about to perforate my colon, was in many ways a mercy. My amazing surgeon caught it just before it perforated, saving me from an even worse ordeal. And now, the colitis is gone! Gone! I am so, so very thankful and relieved.

Now Genevieve can shout from the rooftops, “I’m cured! I’m cured!” Now it’s just a matter of healing from the surgery and getting used to my new normal with the ileostomy. These things seem minor in comparison to what I’ve gone through. There is so much to be thankful for!

*I was able to make my daughter’s oatmeal this morning…and I was grateful that I’m alive to do that.

*I was able to go to church yesterday, cry through the songs, hug people’s necks…and I was so thankful to be able to do that.

*I am able to walk a bit stronger and for a little longer each day…I am so grateful I’m seeing improvement.

*I am needing pain medications less and less…so thankful for that!

*So many little things each day…I try to record them, so I can remember on the days that seem like I’m going backwards in improvement. And there are days like that. They are hard. I try to just be where I am and remember that this too shall pass. And when it does…I have something else to be grateful for!

Food Issues

In the days, weeks, months leading up to hospitalizaton, my relationship with food was changing. I have always loved to eat. I loved fresh salads as well as ice cream, steak and potatoes along with cake, roasted veggies as well as fresh breads. The only things I didn’t care for were beets and ocra.

When your digestive system is not working the way it should, and you’re landing in the bathroom within minutes of eating something, you begin to associate the food with the pain, diarrhea, and cramping. The problem is that it ISN’T the food causing you to be sick….it’s the disease, in my case, Ulcerative Colitis. Still, I had a one-to-one correlation in my head between food and discomfort, and therefore developed an aversion to food, certain smells of food cooking, etc.

Now that I can eat again without the pain or diarrhea, I still have to coax myself into eating sometimes. Some of this is normal post-surgery stuff and it will get better over time. Having an ileostomy, there are now certain foods I am to steer clear of, and others that I’m encouraged to eat. For instance, prior to having surgery, I tried to stay away from white pastas, potatoes, and breads. But now, these foods are actually encouraged!  I used to love fresh veggies and fruits. These are now discouraged due to their difficulty of being digested. I now need to eat veggies that are cooked well, and fruits that are very ripe or mashed (like applesauce).

So it’s a bit of an adjustment. And add to that my need to gain back some of the weight I lost, I find myself thinking about food more than I’d like to. Perhaps this will be a temporary thing, and a new normal will develop to where I’m not having to think about it so much.

One food group that I have yet to get back is my love for coffee. Oh how I loved my morning cup of coffee!! But the smell, while I was sick, was more than I could handle. The smell isn’t bothering me anymore, but to drink coffee is still an unappetizing thing in my mind.

I’m wondering if drawings of coffee cups will disappear from my sketchbooks…prolly so.

Unique Perspective

I just gasped to see the date on this sketch. Gheesh! I am amazed at how long I’ve been battling this disease. And so glad it is now cured. Symptoms began just before Christmas, though they were mild then. As the disease progressed and symptoms worsened, I tried to get an appointment to see my gastroenterologist whom I had seen a few years ago for proctitis. But I was told the earliest I could have an appointment was April 15th. What? I called a few weeks later to tell them I was getting worse and really needed to see him, but was told the only thing they could do was to put me on a waiting list. I was never called.

Not only is your body battling a disease, but your mind and heart are also doing battle. You want to keep your head above water, stay positive, try to see the benefits you may be experiencing, or the beauties that are underfoot. This is crucial to enduring any kind of health issue. Some days are more difficult than others, and that is where I find such comfort in having friends who pray for me. I was able to make it through the most discouraging days because people were praying, sending healing thoughts, and just encouraging me in general.

Eventually, I was desperate, and took myself to PrimeCare and begged them to get me in with a gastro doctor anywhere, but ASAP! That was a Friday, I got an appointment for the following Monday, was in for a colonoscopy on Wednesday and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in over half of my colon. I went home thinking “I’m going to get better now!” having medicines in hand that were supposed to put the disease in remission.  The medicines seemed to help for a few days, but then I began to get worse. And thus started a pattern that would continue for a couple of weeks: trying new meds, I improve a bit, and then worsen. We had talked with my doctor about hospitalization. And soon it became apparent that this was the next step.

We are only given the little patch of the path directly in front of us. And that’s the little patch we have to take in and deal with, trying not to worry about what’s on down the path! This is very difficult for me! I am a worry wart! I realized the only way to go through this journey was to concentrate on TODAY, this patch of the path, this moment, this bit of information we have and just BE there.

I am still learning this as I recuperate. One day at a time, one moment at a time, one baby step at a time. This is the perspective I need. This is the perspective to healing.

A Flower Strewn Path

 

I’m home! I have a long way to go recuperating from surgery, but I’m home and it is lovely to be here with my family and the comforts of home. There is a lot I could say about the last couple of months. But it is still forming in my mind and heart and feels too raw and dear to put out there in a blog. I have no idea whether I will ever write here about this experience, this lenten journey I’ve been on. In so many amazing ways, I was indeed led to a quiet place. Not one I would have chosen myself. And I do feel I am still on this path.

The beautiful thing about this path is that it has been strewn with flowers! And cards! The above watercolor I made prior to landing in the hospital. My husband, Randy, brought home a bunch of gorgeous flowers for me. I can remember during those hideous days of nearly 24/7 living in a bathroom, that the few moments I had to draw or paint were such a welcome diversion. Once in the hospital, where I stayed for three weeks, the flowers were lavishly sent…tulips, azaleas, dahlias, carnations, roses, mixed bouquets, etc. And the cards…wow, the cards! They are still coming! I love looking at and reading each one. The thoughts and sentiments behind each bouquet and each card overwhelm me, in a good way. The outpouring of concern and care has been staggering. Randy and I are so very grateful.

I only wish that I could’ve made a little painting of each and every bouquet. I do have some pen sketches in my writing journal that I made in the early days at the hospital when they were trying to arrest the Ulcerative Colitis by different medications, none of which my body seemed to respond to. The flowers kept coming in even after surgery and the second surgery. The beautiful azalea is now planted in our front yard, and I look forward to it blooming every year.

One of the things I long to hang onto from all of this, is a slower pace in life. To that end, I will not be blogging as often as I used to. I’m considering combining my three blogs into one, and continuing Letters to An Artist on an “as I can” basis. When you’re given a new lease on life, it is only natural to rethink how you’ve been living and make a few changes. I hope, dear reader, that you will continue to check in with me here on Drawn2Life. There is so much Beauty to share with you. And as always, I hope you’ll join me in looking for and creating a bit of beauty in your own life.

A grand THANK YOU to all of you who have sent healing thoughts, prayed for me, wished me well over the last month. I am truly grateful for each of you.

A Place of Quiet

This is where I’m longing to be lately. Yes, I’d love for the weather to be pretty and warm enough for drawing at the Factory Courtyard, but I’m also longing for quiet spaces, a less frenetic life. With that in mind, I’m going to take a break from all my blogs except for Letters To An Artist.  I’m planning for this break to coincide with Lent (which begins tomorrow!:), and resume here on Drawn2Life after Easter. I’m also planning on taking a break from Facebook too.

I hope the next 40 days are filled with drawing and inspiration and deeper creative roots, for you and me.

I love the French “au revoir!” It doesn’t have the same feel of finality as our Good Bye. Au Revoir literally means: til we see each other again!

Happy Drawing!

Eclection Perfection

Chris Federico, the owner of Eclection in downtown Kernersville, has opened the arms of her shop to the faithful few who love to come out and draw. We are really grateful for such a beautiful spot to be indoors for the cold weather, to have so many wonderful things to draw, to sip  delicious tea, and even shop the unique, eclectic creations there if we want to!

Even though there are only one or two others who draw with me, I love having this regular spot in my week to get out in the world and draw.  This is just one of the many drawings I’ve made this winter while sitting in the lovely “living room”.  Each week it is arranged and decorated differently, using some of the unique creations from the shop.  One time Chris even set up a still life for us to draw, gathering this and that off the “floor”.  Now THAT’s rolling out the red carpet!

I won’t be able to be there this Friday, due to the Art Show happening the night before and needing to either recuperate from that or go in and do some tidying up from the show. But I look forward to next Friday, and the next.  If you’re in the area on a Friday morning…come draw with us! Chris would love to have you!

Sustainable Art

Last weekend, when Maddie was sick, it made me remember a wonderful morning just a couple of days before with two visiting artist friends from Reidsville. After combing the creations in Eclection, Vintage Jane, and Renew, we sat talking away at Amalfi’s about how to be artists in and around our lives as mothers. It’s a subject near and dear to my heart, as I have tried to work this thing out for nearly 16 years now…pursuing art and all that it encompasses from learning to creating, to exhibiting. Motherhood is perhaps one of the most interruptive jobs one could have. No two days are alike. Just when you get them into the school years, so many other things arise, visits to the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, sports. And of course, sick days halt whatever artistic goal or path you had hoped to pursue that day.

Suffice it to say that I’ve been, for many years, on a quest to find a sustainable art, though I wouldn’t have been able to articulate it that way. A couple of summers ago, on our trip to Michigan, we met up with old friends there. The wife’s job was to work with companies to make what they do more “sustainable”. As I listened to her describe what this meant, I gathered that her job was to help companies do what they want to do in a more humane and gentle way both for their employees as well as for their clients and to the environment. Over the long haul, these new or improved ways of doing things would allow for resources to not be used up, for employee satisfaction and less burn-out, and clients who feel served over a long period of time.  Something about what she was saying made me think that this was what I had been trying to figure out in my artistic life. At the time, I felt I was actually finding the answer.

When I began to paint and draw in earnest at the age of 32, I did so in and around the busy life of a mom of little ones. I grabbed whatever time I could when my children were napping or asleep at night to paint and draw things that would hopefully be purchased in an art show or gallery. Several years into this, it began to feel very difficult to keep up this pace. I was schlepping paintings hither and yon to broaden the exposure of my artwork, while soccer games, gymnastics, church activities, etc. vied for the same slots as the openings for these shows. It was getting increasingly harder to justify the expense of framing all the works on paper (my preferred medium), to buy the tubes of paint, etc. It was also getting harder to find space in our small house to store these paintings if and when they didn’t sell in the exhibit or gallery. It felt incredibly hard to work as an artist of this kind, trying to keep it up. I got to a point where if I only had 30 minutes to paint, well that just wasn’t enough time to really do anything so I just didn’t do any “art” that day. Several of these days strung together and became a year, then two, where I didn’t do any drawing or painting.

Fast forward to this post here, when I discovered Peter Reynolds book, Ish and Danny Gregory’s book, The Creative License. I began to work (play) in a sketchbook, getting down all the “paintings” in my head, using any and every medium I enjoyed, in any and every method I wanted to. Total freedom. Easy on the pocketbook. Much easier to store. Portable. Do-able in and around a busy, chopped up, life of a mom.

What has been most lovely for me is to find working in a sketchbook to be a sustainable art that I can participate in no matter the circumstances of my life. Though I can still draw and paint for an art show when I want to, I am no longer limited to that. I can draw and paint anytime, anywhere: when my kids are sick, or at the orthodontist, or at a college orientation day, or on trips, or at the hospital, or ANYWHERE!

This may not be important to some artists, finding a sustainable art, but it has been to me. And one must find the artistic expression that is authentic to them!  This is also why I love knitting and crocheting…a portable art form that can be sustained in and around a busy life as wife, mother, and teacher.

**Note: The above sketch was made along with My Balloon Tree post. Again, one of those times where the meaning of it is unclear while making it. I see it now with me standing outside my home, Balloon Tree in the backyard with an endless stream of lovely balloons of creativity flowing from it.