Danny Gregory’s most recent post on September 21st, has caused me to think a bit. He talks about how Everyday Matters, the book, came to be…how he had not thought that his story of learning to live again after his wife Patti’s tragic accident which left her paralyzed, was something he could/should/wanted to share with others. He knew that drawing was how he worked through the aftermath, how he chronicled even the smallest of things that became treasures in the wake of tragedy. But he did not feel he could share this most personal, private part of himself. He didn’t think that something that mattered so much to him and to Patti would matter much to anyone else. He discovered that it mattered a lot to those who’ve had the good fortune to read his book.
Prior to reading his post, I had been toying with taking a blog-holiday. I’ve been feeling increasingly scattered, both creatively and personally. A blog certainly supports this approach: short and sweet entries about WHATEVER! But I felt I needed a break to sort out whatever was being stirred up. Typically, my scattered, all-over-the-map creative self, is an indicator that something’s getting stirred up. I usually won’t see it for a while. I just have to wait it out. But after reading Danny’s post, I realize I’ve only shared with you the tip of the iceberg of my story as a mother of a Type 1 Diabetic child. Here, here, here, and here are just a few of the posts I’ve spoken about and shared with you. But there is so much more. So much that is indeed simmering around in my head and heart, and I think I can share it with you.
In beginning this journey of posts, I feel there are several things to state up front. I am only giving MY perspective, not my daughter’s or my husband’s, or any one else who is touched by Type 1 Diabetes in any way. It is MY story…how I’M processing all this…how I am learning, growing, grieving, rallying, learning to live again. Though no one has died, nor become paralyzed, there has indeed been a kind of a death. A death to a way of life that we will never return to. I keep having to learn this.
I am also NOT fishing for sympathy!! I am in no way trying to wrest out of you an emotional response, nor do I invite cheerleader comments. I am simply wanting to share my journey in such a way as to encourage ANY who might be on a similar path. Certainly, if you or anyone you know is touched by Type 1 Diabetes, please share this with them…it might encourage them.
And so, what does the above drawing have to do with all this??? I drew it yesterday, standing at my sink, gawking at the temperature gauge, longing to go sit outside on my back deck, but knowing I’d be back inside within a few minutes. Oh the heat!! Here in my little part of the world, we are having a record breaking year! We have had more days above 90 degrees than any other year on record! It has felt oppressive. I have had many days when dealing with diabetes has felt equally oppressive. And though we are looking toward the heat breaking next week sometime, I face the fact that Type 1 Diabetes is here to stay. It will not go away with a rain storm coming through. It will not take a break for a season or two. The work that my husband and I do for our daughter, and indeed the work that she does to manage her diabetes is never ending. 93 would actually be a great blood sugar number for her. But alas, her sugar numbers do not stay at 93…they are only passing through to some other number, be it 250 or 50. I’m learning to live with this and to find joy in it.
BTW-I’ve begun a Category for all my posts on life with Type 1 Diabetes. You can see the list of categories over in the right margin if you’re interested in reading more.